A couple years ago you met this gorgeous guy, you fell instantly in love with him as you started dating frequently. You asked advice from your friends and they told you to be careful on what you say, on what you do cos you don’t want him to get the wrong idea of you. Then you read a bunch of articles around net how the first dates should be. Then you bought this magazine since most girls consider it the best for love advice. The days go by and you have created a stable wall and some more barriers around you.
Now you do feel safe to be around him. A date after a date, a year after a year and a common decision to live with him in the same house. It’s the man you dreamed. It’s what you always wanted, to share the same apartment with a person who understand you completely, who treats you like a queen. The first months seem like a fairytale. The next ones start feeling like you try hard to climb on a mountain.
Now the secrets start taking place and create another wall between you and him. You don’t lie to him yet this distance is getting bigger. The fights lead nowhere lately and you don’t know why. That night you yell at him “You don’t know who I am!” and he replies “I thought I knew you. I don’t know who you are anymore.”. He slams the door and leaves you behind bursting into tears. What happened? Why he left you?
You should better ask yourself “Did he ever know me as person? Did I ever give him a chance?” and then remember how you wanted to be the perfect girlfriend for him. Remember now how you created your beautiful and stable wall. Remember how you never told him so many things about you cos you thought he would never like you. How can you be with someone if you cannot be yourself? How can you build a relationship based on a fake image you project?
Trust yourself, love yourself, start listening more carefully to that little voice inside you. Next time you go on a date, don’t ask for advice. Let your intuition lead you. If it was not the right choice, at least it was yours and only yours. Above all be real, the person who will be around you, he will accept you for who you are not for who you make him think that you are. Honesty is a strong base for a beautiful relationship. Just go for it!
In the beginning you had hard time to admit it that you are sad most of the day. It started with a lot of stress and then that feeling that everything is going plain wrong in your life. You know many people around you being on the same page as you but you never thought that you would never thought that you had to deal with this too. Your big question is “Now what?” along with all the negative mindset of this situation. Many times you cry so much at night till you can’t breathe.It feels bad but at the same time addictive.
When a friend calls you to tell you some good news about her life, you find a quick excuse to avoid her. You shake your head as with disgust you hang up. Happiness sounds so bad as an idea, right? Then you start crying, you feel the pain released again and you are stuck in this situation for days, sometimes for months. You come to a point that you need a solution and fast. Otherwise you feel that you will lose your mind.
Try an easy approach to start dealing with the issue. Meditate and visualize Sadness as a young person who looks like you. Face her, talk to her, ask her questions. Don’t question the conversation, just let it flow. When you are done, be proud of yourself. You just made a huge step to face yourself and your issue. Keep working on that meditation exercise till she fades away. It may take you days to fix it but don’t give up. Always keep notes after the conversation you had with that part of yourself. Now see how much progress you have done!
It’s one of those emotional nights when you really don’t know what to do. Should you sleep? Should you stay awake and keep suffering? You thought a long time ago that truth hurts since it always brings stuff on the surface that you don’t want to hear. This time you felt like being a part of the Truman Show. How can your life be played out like that while having no clue? Is it your fault? Is it the person’s fault who kept lying to you? In the end it doesn’t matter who said the lie but if in the end there are other people around you who are aware of this lie. What if they have lied too about other stuff too? So many questions, so little answers and you are here to take responsibility of your own actions. You may feel a victim but keep in mind that many times we attract the energies we desire in our lives. If you feel a failure for example and that the friends you have are the only ones who can tolerate you, then you know what happens after this. They are aware of that and the next thing you know is that you are being used by them. This happens cos they know that you need them in your life.
Now think about it a bit. In fact no, first let all the emotions out. Cry, write down how you feel and reevaluate everything. Who deserves to be in your life and who not. Now think when the lies started. If you say that you didn’t have the slightest clue about the situation, this is a lie itself. How many times you felt that something is wrong? How many times you thought that you are crazy or paranoid? How many times you ignored the little voice inside you warning you about these lies? You just didn’t want to be alone and push everyone away. Now you are in a situation that you have to alone for some time. How the one is different from the other then? It’s self respect, you would be alone but by your own choice not pushed by the situation itself. Take your time, work on yourself but don’t lose faith on people. You may met a couple of them who hurt you but there are others out there who are sincere and honest. It takes time but you will be grateful later on!