Have you ever felt that life will bring all the “bad” things in one day? When you go at work, you have a fight with a coworker and you feel guilty. You are driving back home as your cell phone rings; it’s your dad and he wants you to have dinner with the family on weekend. You just refuse by finding an excuse and again you feel guilty. Before you sleep, all these thoughts are in your head as you keep rolling all over. All these images, the conversations you had, the excuses, the guilt and the biggest question of all “What if I told them otherwise? Did I make the wrong decision?”. Write your thoughts down and actually see how many times you had to use excuses. Do you feel that you are doing the wrong thing or that you are around the wrong people? This pretty much would explain why you are not on the same level of frequencies and why you try to bridge the gap by using all these excuses. You feel bad cos you suppress your needs and if you don’t, you feel guilty again towards yourself.
Human relationships are hard but yet again above all it’s the self respect. If you made a specific decision, it means that at that time it was the best for you. There is no point to analyze the situation too much. You will definitely realize that from every aspect you will feel guilty. Now you may wonder if there is anything to do so as to fix it. How you will stop regretting about most of the things you do? Be real. Be yourself. Get in touch with the knowledge within. If you feel that you made a bad decision, before you start blaming yourself or everyone else, ask yourself why you did. One sentence or one word will be enough to define it. Know your motives and make the necessary changes. Reach out to the people who want to be around you. You will feel who is the right one for you. If you feel yourself and that you don’t need to pretend or find excuses, then it’s when you know that the friend with similar mindset will give you her hand and walk with you!
You dyed your hair to your favorite color and you go out with your best friend a couple hours later. When you ask her if she likes your hair, she gives you the look of fail. You are at work and a customer tells you that you should be fired for being so rude. After all you just want to stay home, sit on your bed and have your laptop ready for some online action. As you start networking, you get some very negative feedback. Are you doing something wrong? Why people are so judgmental? Is there anything you can do to make them stop? First of all keep in mind that it’s not your fault. As far as there is free will in this world, people will voice their opinions. You like it or not, you can’t avoid criticism but you can play it smart. If something affects you so bad, it means that it holds some truth. What does this mean? Let’s say that a random woman on a playground says how a bad mother you are cos you keep talking on the phone and paying no attention to your kid. Next thing you know, you are so mad at her that you start a fight.
Pretty much you acted like a wounded animal who just had its wound touched. This woman just said something that you feel it’s true. If it was completely false, you wouldn’t be annoyed at all. So instead of having this fight, ignore this woman, get your kid, go home and think. Think a lot. Are you really a bad mother? You are not but sometimes you feel like that cos you have no time for yourself. You can set your mindset in that way so you can solve the issue. Insecurities come out first as a defense mechanism when we are all being criticized. If you consider it as a bad thing, think that it was the only way to pay attention on the current issue. All this time you were avoiding it cos you felt bad. Time to work on criticism instead of shoving it away. Lessons in life are never easy but if they were, you wouldn’t pay that much attention!
It’s time to go home after work, you rush outside as today you didn’t think that it would rain and you forgot your umbrella. While running to catch the last train you stumble upon a guy who’s selling roses. You apologize really quick but he gives you a quick smile and hands you a rose. “Thank you”, you say without thinking much and you check your watch continuously. You need to get the train to get back home. This weather makes you want to snuggle on the couch with your cat. Being lucky enough to get in the train the last minute, you hold the rose close to your chest. A couple of the pedals fall down, the poor rose is so fragile under the rain. Instead of trying to keep the pedals close, you just let them fall. “The rose would probably survive into someone else’s hands”, you think and tears come up. You lower your eyes trying to hide to face as you keep checking your watch. You are not that far away from the house.
When you arrive home, you just throw the rose in the garbage. Some moments later you go back and you take it out. This rose represents all the good things in your life that you never thought you deserve. This rose holds the beauty as you hold nothing. Destructive thoughts cloud your mind. Hang on there. Just pull the curtain a bit and check the sky. Do you see the rainbow? The rain is over. The tears are over. Sadness is over but it may come back. Make some room for happiness. Make some room for a big smile. You can’t have rainbow everyday or rain. The sun will come out too, maybe just a cloudy day. Just have some faith on yourself. Even a small dose is enough to make the difference. Go to the mirror and give to you a big smile cos you deserve it!