Tag Archive | fight

Strip off the fake Confidence

Girls love their make-up , boys love their cars and guess what happens if you take them away. If you are still wondering, ask your best friend to meet you in the cafeteria without her make-up on and your boyfriend to use public transportation to come over there too. Pretty much you expect two upcoming situations. On the first one, they find a terrible excuse not to show up. On the second one, they do show up but their confidence is under zero. It’s not bad to own a car or having beautiful clothes. The bad thing is to depend on them so as to boost your self esteem. Take away the expensive houses from the celebrities and their status is harmed. This goes along with their confidence. When we live in a society that nurtures us with these ethics and when we are stuck in a system in where you have to be successful so as to be “important”, “special”, “unique”, it’s when you know that you have to fight back. Anything materialistic shouldn’t be above anything spiritual or personal growth. Though if you don’t do it, you feel you will get kicked out of the system.

This pretty much means that your friends will push you away, your parents will consider you a failure and you will feel the need to leave your town or even country. It has happened to everyone but how do you act? Lower your head and stare at the ground? Shrug and move along? Sigh deeply and have the worst thoughts about yourself? This means that you surrender, you let the system win. The system that you hate so much, that even lead you to take antidepressants cos you are not good enough. Draw a big line and don’t let anyone cross it. It’s your personal boundaries, it’s the space that you need to be yourself. You need to apologize to no one for who you are. Meditate, join a yoga class or martial arts, write daily affirmations, all these will lead to your confidence boost. This is what you want. This is what you need; Inner peace and trust yourself!

Rewind, Regret and Rough Reality

Have you ever felt that life will bring all the “bad” things in one day? When you go at work, you have a fight with a coworker and you feel guilty. You are driving back home as your cell phone rings; it’s your dad and he wants you to have dinner with the family on weekend. You just refuse by finding an excuse and again you feel guilty. Before you sleep, all these thoughts are in your head as you keep rolling all over. All these images, the conversations you had, the excuses, the guilt and the biggest question of all “What if I told them otherwise? Did I make the wrong decision?”. Write your thoughts down and actually see how many times you had to use excuses. Do you feel that you are doing the wrong thing or that you are around the wrong people? This pretty much would explain why you are not on the same level of frequencies and why you try to bridge the gap by using all these excuses. You feel bad cos you suppress your needs and if you don’t, you feel guilty again towards yourself.

Human relationships are hard but yet again above all it’s the self respect. If you made a specific decision, it means that at that time it was the best for you. There is no point to analyze the situation too much. You will definitely realize that from every aspect you will feel guilty. Now you may wonder if there is anything to do so as to fix it. How you will stop regretting about most of the things you do?  Be real. Be yourself. Get in touch with the knowledge within. If you feel that you made a bad decision, before you start blaming yourself or everyone else, ask yourself why you did. One sentence or one word will be enough to define it. Know your motives and make the necessary changes. Reach out to the people who want to be around you. You will feel who is the right one for you. If you feel yourself and that you don’t need to pretend or find excuses, then it’s when you know that the friend with similar mindset will give you her hand and walk with you!

Blooming Heart on Spring

Spring is here as you expected it so much during winter. You feel your head a bit lighter, your heart ready to fly away to the blooming fields, you can’t wait to smell the dazzling smell of the flowers . The sadness of the winter is ready to go, at least how you feel as you want to do major changes along with the spring mood. You feel you are ready to forgive more, to be a little more sensitive than usual like a playful fairy. With a big smile on your face, you call one of your friends, you haven’t talked to her for some time. You ask her if she wants to hang around with you. Next thing you know, she’s asking you for favors. This is how you will prove to her that you are still friends. You frown a bit but you guess it’s fine to do these little favors for her. Days later, you can’t ignore your feelings, how annoyed you are. How can people do that? Maybe you should think twice about the people you are about to approach again. Remember what happened between you two. Why you stopped talking, why you had a fight, why you started keeping your distances.

Some people say that it’s hard for someone to change and if yes, it’s only for some time. The truth is that some people are willing to change and some just want to stay stuck to their physical and emotional routine. Remember that not everyone is on the same page with you. Maybe you are ready for these changes but not everyone around you is. You have felt many time this; to shake someone till they wake up. Yet again don’t forget that some of the people around you, they just want to keep “sleeping”. It’s their right, it’s free will. You are hurt but you have to make your choices. Changes many times hurt cos we leave people behind. It always was like that and it will always be. Instead of trying to pull them with you, show them how things change for you with your own behavior. Let your inner beautiful tree flourish and let the scent have an effect on people around you. Some will run away cos it will be too strong to handle. Some others will embrace it and they will want more! Happy Spring my dear friend!

Criticism and how bad you want to avoid it

You dyed your hair to your favorite color and you go out with your best friend a couple hours later. When you ask her if she likes your hair, she gives you the look of fail. You are at work and a customer tells you that you should be fired for being so rude. After all you just want to stay home, sit on your bed and have your laptop ready for some online action. As you start networking, you get some very negative feedback. Are you doing something wrong? Why people are so judgmental? Is there anything you can do to make them stop? First of all keep in mind that it’s not your fault. As far as there is free will in this world, people will voice their opinions. You like it or not, you can’t avoid criticism but you can play it smart. If something affects you so bad, it means that it holds some truth. What does this mean? Let’s say that a random woman on a playground says how a bad mother you are cos you keep talking on the phone and paying no attention to your kid. Next thing you know, you are so mad at her that you start a fight.

Pretty much you acted like a wounded animal who  just had its wound touched. This woman just said something that you feel it’s true. If it was completely false, you wouldn’t be annoyed at all. So instead of having this fight, ignore this woman, get your kid, go home and think. Think a lot. Are you really a bad mother? You are not but sometimes you feel like that cos you have no time for yourself. You can set your mindset in that way so you can solve the issue. Insecurities come out first as a defense mechanism when we are all being criticized. If you consider it as a bad thing, think that it was the only way to pay attention on the current issue. All this time you were avoiding it cos you felt bad. Time to work on criticism instead of shoving it away. Lessons in life are never easy but if they were, you wouldn’t pay that much attention!

Roommates – How an awesome friendship can end up being a disaster

You have talked with your best friend so many times about how it would be fantastic that you two can be in the same apartment. Well you do share so many things, you laugh with the same jokes, you have supported each other so many times. After all these conversations and plans, you finally find this pretty apartment with all the comforts you need and you are ready for epic nights of fun. The first 2 months everything seems to be fine but a bit uncomfortable sometimes. She doesn’t dry her feet when she comes out of the bathroom, therefore you find water all over the floor. After being done with dinner, she will never wash the dishes. The bills give her a headache so she expects you to deal with it and her only give you the money. The worst is when she has issues with money and considers it normal for you to pay everything. Has a real nightmare just started? Your friend is not what you thought she is? What happened to her? What happened to you?

Every night before you sleep, you keep thinking about all these questions but you realize that it was not her decision, you both agreed on being roommates. You want to have a fight with her cos she’s your best friend. Now what? Well your friendship is being tested like a boyfriend – girlfriend relationship. You live in the same place which means that there should be some rules so as everything works fine. Have a schedule for what you both need, for example no intimate moments with your boyfriend in your bedroom when she’s in the apartment. Don’t make the rules by giving each other the look “i know that you are gonna do it and this rule is for you” cos in the end you will end up fighting and damaging your friendship. Keep the connection you had before you move in together, talk about things you love, about your issues and make that bond between you stronger. You should feel lucky for having each other, don’t let routine ruin your friendship!

Boredom or something else?

Although you are busy lately, you must admit that when it comes to do things for yourself, you are bored. You don’t feel like going out, you prefer to be a coach potato sitting in front of your TV and watch random shows. The phone rings but you just ignore it. Too bored to talk to your friend even. People keep asking you what’s wrong but you just reply “bored” and then you turn your back. Sit back and rewind. When did this start happening? Have you thought that under boredom it could be an emotional issue, fear or even crashed ego? By avoiding it, you don’t solve the problem. On the other hand, you just make it worse. How many times you’ve been in a situation in where you didn’t want to fight cos you thought it was pointless again and again? Do you remember when you exploded after a long time? The exact same thing happens when you ignore your issues.

If you your next question is “what I do?” or just shrug saying “I can do nothing about that”, you get to the apathy stage aka boredom. So actually you do know what is going, you just don’t want to deal with the issue. If you don’t find the strength to fight for yourself, no one will fight for you. Even if you complain to your friends, you ask for their advice or even go to a professional, it will never work if you are not ready to do the big step. What is going to happen, is the people who care about you keep repeating themselves and when you go back home, you just ignore what they said. By playing the victim, it leads nowhere, in fact you will start pushing people way. Believe in yourself, love yourself and get out of this boredom. Life is beautiful cos you make it beautiful, never forget that!