Tag Archive | best friend

Why you shouldn’t erase your past

You have the choice to erase one incident from your past, as though it never happened.  Someone gave you a big magical eraser and now you are excited that you will pick that hateful moment in your life and get rid of it once and forever. You don’t need to deal with the pain ever again neither with the avoidance nor with the guilt. That “someone” also told you that your life will change after this but you his words are like whispers in your ears. You wished all these years for this moment and now nothing can stop you. Go ahead and do it. 1…2…3…

With a huge smile and such a relief, you give the magic eraser back to that “someone”, you definitely thank them from the bottom of your heart and you are so excited cos your new life is ahead. You call your best friend to tell her how magic still exists, how you changed your past and how she can do it too if she wishes too hard. With a huge surprise you realize that she doesn’t recognize you on the phone. “Are you crazy? It’s me!”, you almost scream jumping off your chair. She hangs up and you are so frustrated. Maybe she just woke up and she didn’t recognize your voice. Now you go to hug your cat, you need some sort of comfort.

The jumps on you as she scratches your arm. “Ouch! What’s wrong with you!”, you scream at the cat as she scratches the door to get out of the apartment. Maybe she needs some air you think, you open the door, she leaves but she doesn’t come back. You start freaking out, something is so wrong and you feel it! You just decide to go out and take your car for a quick ride. Your car is not there! Immediately you call the police, they come outside your house and they start laughing at you. “Miss, you don’t own a car….”, they leave shaking their heads. What the heck happened? Maybe that “someone” remembers to tell you?

You beg in tear so as him to show up again. It doesn’t take much time as he does. Your voice almost broken cos of crying, you ask him what happened! “Well my dear”, he replies to you as he clears his throat, “you never heard what I told you before you erase that annoying past event. You grab him by the jacket and you demand more answers. “You erased that memory about this painful funeral. You met your best friend there for the first time. A couple years later you bought the cat together when you felt lonely. You asked her advice for the new car you wanted to buy. You changed the past with this simple move. It’s action and reaction, it’s the fundamental law of the universe. Live with the consequences now.”

He left you there hanging with your jaw dropping. You wanted to fix the past and you erased your future. “You have the choice to erase one incident from your past, as though it never happened.” Do you feel like doing it again now? It’s up to you now!

 

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Strip off the fake Confidence

Girls love their make-up , boys love their cars and guess what happens if you take them away. If you are still wondering, ask your best friend to meet you in the cafeteria without her make-up on and your boyfriend to use public transportation to come over there too. Pretty much you expect two upcoming situations. On the first one, they find a terrible excuse not to show up. On the second one, they do show up but their confidence is under zero. It’s not bad to own a car or having beautiful clothes. The bad thing is to depend on them so as to boost your self esteem. Take away the expensive houses from the celebrities and their status is harmed. This goes along with their confidence. When we live in a society that nurtures us with these ethics and when we are stuck in a system in where you have to be successful so as to be “important”, “special”, “unique”, it’s when you know that you have to fight back. Anything materialistic shouldn’t be above anything spiritual or personal growth. Though if you don’t do it, you feel you will get kicked out of the system.

This pretty much means that your friends will push you away, your parents will consider you a failure and you will feel the need to leave your town or even country. It has happened to everyone but how do you act? Lower your head and stare at the ground? Shrug and move along? Sigh deeply and have the worst thoughts about yourself? This means that you surrender, you let the system win. The system that you hate so much, that even lead you to take antidepressants cos you are not good enough. Draw a big line and don’t let anyone cross it. It’s your personal boundaries, it’s the space that you need to be yourself. You need to apologize to no one for who you are. Meditate, join a yoga class or martial arts, write daily affirmations, all these will lead to your confidence boost. This is what you want. This is what you need; Inner peace and trust yourself!

Criticism and how bad you want to avoid it

You dyed your hair to your favorite color and you go out with your best friend a couple hours later. When you ask her if she likes your hair, she gives you the look of fail. You are at work and a customer tells you that you should be fired for being so rude. After all you just want to stay home, sit on your bed and have your laptop ready for some online action. As you start networking, you get some very negative feedback. Are you doing something wrong? Why people are so judgmental? Is there anything you can do to make them stop? First of all keep in mind that it’s not your fault. As far as there is free will in this world, people will voice their opinions. You like it or not, you can’t avoid criticism but you can play it smart. If something affects you so bad, it means that it holds some truth. What does this mean? Let’s say that a random woman on a playground says how a bad mother you are cos you keep talking on the phone and paying no attention to your kid. Next thing you know, you are so mad at her that you start a fight.

Pretty much you acted like a wounded animal who  just had its wound touched. This woman just said something that you feel it’s true. If it was completely false, you wouldn’t be annoyed at all. So instead of having this fight, ignore this woman, get your kid, go home and think. Think a lot. Are you really a bad mother? You are not but sometimes you feel like that cos you have no time for yourself. You can set your mindset in that way so you can solve the issue. Insecurities come out first as a defense mechanism when we are all being criticized. If you consider it as a bad thing, think that it was the only way to pay attention on the current issue. All this time you were avoiding it cos you felt bad. Time to work on criticism instead of shoving it away. Lessons in life are never easy but if they were, you wouldn’t pay that much attention!

Roommates – How an awesome friendship can end up being a disaster

You have talked with your best friend so many times about how it would be fantastic that you two can be in the same apartment. Well you do share so many things, you laugh with the same jokes, you have supported each other so many times. After all these conversations and plans, you finally find this pretty apartment with all the comforts you need and you are ready for epic nights of fun. The first 2 months everything seems to be fine but a bit uncomfortable sometimes. She doesn’t dry her feet when she comes out of the bathroom, therefore you find water all over the floor. After being done with dinner, she will never wash the dishes. The bills give her a headache so she expects you to deal with it and her only give you the money. The worst is when she has issues with money and considers it normal for you to pay everything. Has a real nightmare just started? Your friend is not what you thought she is? What happened to her? What happened to you?

Every night before you sleep, you keep thinking about all these questions but you realize that it was not her decision, you both agreed on being roommates. You want to have a fight with her cos she’s your best friend. Now what? Well your friendship is being tested like a boyfriend – girlfriend relationship. You live in the same place which means that there should be some rules so as everything works fine. Have a schedule for what you both need, for example no intimate moments with your boyfriend in your bedroom when she’s in the apartment. Don’t make the rules by giving each other the look “i know that you are gonna do it and this rule is for you” cos in the end you will end up fighting and damaging your friendship. Keep the connection you had before you move in together, talk about things you love, about your issues and make that bond between you stronger. You should feel lucky for having each other, don’t let routine ruin your friendship!

Priority Check List

Your daily life is so stressful that it makes you forget which are your real priorities. When you open your agenda, there are so many appointments, needless to say that you have to meet your best friend too. It doesn’t take much time to feel your stress level getting even higher as your frustration is obvious. The only thing you need is to calm down, drink some water, play some relaxing music and if you feel a bit better, meditate. Don’t you think that it’s time to revise your priorities? Everything seems important but it’s not if think about it. How shopping for clothes is as important as a business meeting? A priority list is essential and before you start deciding which days you want to do specific things, just decide with clear mind which things should be important right now in your life.

Use red pen for the extremely important and green for the less important ones. When the list is done,  it’s when you can start distributing the priorities to the days of the week. You can work on that daily, weekly or monthly according to your needs. What you will notice and it’s very important, is that you will have less stress but most important, you can find time for yourself now. When it was the last time you enjoyed bubble bath with relaxing music, candles and your favorite drink without having to jump out in half an hour cos you have something important to do? Whatever you do, keep in mind that are more important than anything else!

Life is a School with many Classes

Do you remember when you were going to school, you had to wake up early, you had to face the same teachers, same annoying classes but you had to find a real reason to stay happy? It was not for the friends, how many times you had to get rid of them cos they back-stabbed you? It was not for your crush either, he barely paid attention to you. It was that class you always loved to attend. It made you feel different, alive, you wished you could go every day there. After being done with school, years later, you had to find a job and do something with your life. Some times you question yourself if you are on the right path, if you are doing the right thing. You don’t really have that much time for these questions, your busy life will give you little time for fun, going out with a couple of friends for drinks or just have that awesome date. School all over again but in a different sense now, you are the one who decides about the teachers, the classes, the friends and the boyfriend.

Have you taken advantage of this privilege yet? Don’t let your  life being lead mostly by random factors, use all the tools you have in your hands to make it better. Start a new activity with the teacher you really believe in, have a real friend around you, date the guy who really cares about you. Pick the path you want to in your life, listen to your inner voice and do what you feel like doing. So many lessons out there to learn, so many classes and so many people to interact but now you do have the choice. You know it won’t be easy but the journey is more worthy than the destination. Don’t doubt a moment that you can achieve great things, don’t let your insecurities to take over. Life is a big school and you are a very talented student!

I’m not crazy but I do crazy things

When it was the last time you did something crazy? Not for someone else but for you. A day when you rushed to get a plane for Paris, a cold morning when you rolled on the snow with your dog or a moment when you opened your window and screamed that you loved the whole world. You usually try to find a partner in crime but you won’t do it by yourself. Are you afraid that you won’t be accepted by others? Are you afraid of people mocking at you? Though when you are with your boyfriend, family or best friend, you will do it cos everyone does. If your memories of having fun always include others, then what happens if someone takes these memories away? You feel so alone, you feel that you can’t have fun unless you are around other people.

Make a monthly challenge diary with fun activities, you have no idea how good you will feel after accomplishing the task. You love sharing those moments though, right? Call your friends, tell them all the amazing stuff you did. Do you remember how you felt accepted when you did similar stuff with them? Now you will feel respected cos they will go “wow” with your experiences. The most important here, do you know what you really accomplished? You worked on your solar plexus, you worked on your insecurities and doubts, if you actually can do stuff by yourself. Feel proud of yourself and you will see how your indecisiveness will just flee!